This is the third letter in the ‘LETTERS TO OUR CHILDREN’ project I have started with other moms/photographers on our blogs. From here just visit Amber’s Blog to keep following the blog circle around!
I have been spending a lot of my time worrying lately. I always worry – it’s in my nature. However, as a mom, it can take on a life of it’s own. There is always something that I am thinking about, scared of, unsure of, needing to figure out. I always hoped that you wouldn’t inherit this “worry gene” from your mama…but baby girl I believe you did. For the last little while, you have been slowly showing your sweet little personality, and it is not of the laid-back, outgoing, life-of-the-party variety. At least not in public. You take your time feeling out a situation. You size people up. You take everything in before taking your first step. You stay close to me when strangers are nearby. You run to me when something new or unusual happens in your little world. You stay back from those running and jumping and tearing through the park. I have been told to push you, to help you get over these worries and make you see there is nothing to be scared of. However, I struggle with this. I see how we live in a world where extroverted personalities are praised. Being outgoing is valued. Even loud and pushy is preferred to quiet and uncertain it seems. I want you to have fun and make friends and enjoy life – but I don’t want to change you baby girl. I love who you are. This world needs more quiet. It needs more thoughtfulness and softness. It needs you.
And the funny thing is….that when I least expect it, you surprise me. You will leave my hand behind and go up on stage by yourself at a concert. Or climb into a bouncy castle for the first time, saying “I can do it all by my own”. You show bits of braveness and independence all the time. And at home…you are the funniest, most out-going, creative, and full-of-life, spirited girl. I used to hope that one day the whole world would see this side of you….but maybe you are just saving it for those who make you feel safe, feel loved. Maybe you always will. And maybe that is exactly the way it should be.
I love you sweet girl.