I am starting a new project this month with a group of moms who are also photographers. Each month we will all be posting ‘LETTERS TO OUR CHILDREN’ on our blogs. I am so excited to share these letters with you all, as well as with my little girl one day:) Plus this is an excellent excuse and reminder to take pics of my sweet Eva every month.
From here just visit Jaime’s blog to read her letter & keep following the circle back to me.
My sweet girl,
I don’t even know how to start this first letter. So much to say, to write, to tell you. It could just never be enough. Starting at the beginning just seems like the easiest way to tell you our story.
You came into our world what seems like both forever ago and just yesterday all at the same time. How is that even possible? You were and are such a perfect little girl. Not in the ways I might have thought before, but definitely in all the ways that matter. I was so excited to welcome you into the world. A baby girl. What I had secretly (or perhaps not so secretly) been wishing for.
You arrived exactly on the day you were predicted. However, that was the only thing that went according to plan those first few days, weeks, months. Scary news and constant doctors appointments and follow-ups were not what I was expecting. Perhaps this was the best way to learn the truth about being a mother – nothing is as expected, nothing goes according to plan. I was so worried about the future, and although I worry less now, it is always still there in the back of my mind. I doubt it will ever go away. However, as the days and months and years have gone by, this frightening time has faded into a memory that although important, doesn’t define any part of who you are. It is just one part of your story.
However, it is also part of my story, as your mother. Perhaps it is this rough beginning that makes all of our time together so precious and special to me. Maybe I would have felt this way regardless. Whatever the reason, I do treasure all of our moments together. I hope you know that. I hope you can feel that, even now when you are so young. Whenever patience is hard to come by, or sleep seems so far away, and it is hard to keep a smile on my face – I always remember those first few days. And I feel so blessed that you are here with me, that it is all I can do not to hold you and never let you go. I was talking with a friend a few months ago about our experiences with motherhood, and I shared how much your scary first few weeks in this world has shaped mine. And I wouldn’t for a second wish it upon anybody, and if I could change it, I know I would in a heartbeat. But in some way I feel peaceful, knowing that I haven’t taken one second of being your mama for granted. I hope that I never do…..
You are two now. Two whole years old. You think that this is so big. You tell me you are big. And that your hair is long. Daddy and I just shake our heads and laugh, for we know that neither of these things are really true. But to you they are. And in some ways you are so big. So much bigger than I am ready for you to be most days. However, you are also much bigger, more beautiful, stronger, full-of-life and laughter, joy, thoughtfulness, intelligence, and just more than I could have ever hoped for two years ago.
Here is a little secret my precious girl. Every night before falling asleep for the first few months after you were born, I would pray to God for just one thing – that you would have the most beautiful life you could ever imagine. As time has gone on, I have forgotten some nights, but it is still the one thing I wish for and pray for with all my heart. This beautiful life of yours will likely not take the path I expect, but I am so confident that it will be so wonderful and exactly what it is meant to be.
I love you sweet girl.